Please note: Affiliate links may be included in this post. It's just the sprinkle I need to keep the magic alive.
A 3:00 am morning message had me shook.
It's not very often that I dream in thoughts, and I rarely worry or get caught up in my head when I go to sleep. I'm a sleeper by trade, honestly. Give me opportunity, and I'm out. Which is why it really took me a back the other day when I woke up (at 3:15 none the less), with a thought that had me bolt up right in bed with my heart beating like crazy.
"It was a full on, DNA induced, biologically enhanced, inner body experience."
I knew I wasn't having a panic attack.
My mind had put something together that was so random and yet so life changing, it had me questioning the condition of my health. In the last couple of years I've become acquainted with a panic attacks, but I haven't had one (or any reason to have one) for a very long time. I am deeply aware of the signs of an attack, this was different. It was much stronger, like a veil of tingling through my entire body. It was a full on, DNA induced, biologically enhanced, inner body experience.
It was a message from my Ancestors. A message from my H23 maternal haplogroup to be exact. It was about the miniStarlite. It was profound, and it made me pause. More importantly, it brought to light that after some 180,000 years, I might just have been given the responsibility of giving birth to the end of our line. All those moons ago, someone saw the beautiful beginning of our journey as Mothers... and here I am, with a front row seat to an epic finale.
"She is our last daughter, We are proud."
What it means to be the last of your kind.
That message was so loud, I still hear echos of it now. It brought up so much emotion for me, but I think we need to first circle back as to how I put the message together.
When I connect the miniStarlite as being 'our last daughter', I am strictly speaking about our Maternal lineage. Mamaylia is my only daughter, and I will not be having any more biological children. I am my birth mom's only daughter, and from my understanding, she is my grandmother's only daughter. I am specifically connecting with our Maternal ancestral lineage, or Haplogroup as they say in the world of science. And with both myself, my daughter and my birth mother being the only daughters (I'm not sure about my maternal grandmother), our unbroken line of maternal inheritance, might soon break.
On the one hand, I do have to consider how young my daughter is. I mean truly, she still has a good 20 to 25 years to really make a final decision about biologically having children. When I look back over her first 15 years of life, however, I feel like I kinda know. Behaviorally and psychically, I've had a few conversations that have me leaning towards our inevitable maternal swan song.
A few hints along the way.
1. Mamaylia, unlike myself, has never been interested in pregnancy and is actually quite disgusted by the whole birthing process. As she gets older she is definitely changing her tune about becoming a mother, but that can happen in so many different ways... and I have a feeling she'll explore all those options. I on the other hand was stuffing my belly with pillows pretending to be pregnant from like the time I was 4ish??? I played house with my dolls until I was 12 years old. Want to see me cry in 4 seconds flat? Play a birthing video, and I'm a mess. My greatest joy has been the ability to carry a healthy, beautiful baby into this world. I know the purpose of my life, was/is to be a mother.
2. Years ago I had a past life regression done on me, and the woman told me that there had been a long wait for my daughter to come. I didn't really know what she meant, but I'm starting to understand it a bit more now. She also mentioned that my mom had been a caregiver to my daughter how ever many generations ago. What's interesting is that when my daughter was born, my mother essentially snatched her up and had a very strong conversation with her... she was only minutes old. To this day my Mom won't tell me what she said, apparently it's private. But she's always said since then, that she has a special bond with May. The patience and behaviour my daughter has with her Oma is that of old soul recognition. I don't know what forces were at hand, but the stars aligned when my parents adopted me, setting forth what could be our final journey.
3. In an entirely different conversation, I had been asked if the miniStarlite was a Pisces, to which I answered yes. It was then explained to me that Pisces is generally the last phase of a life cycle here on earth, and that my daughter definitely has the aura of completion. I don't know much about the Zodiac, but looking back on it know, it's just another piece of confirmation that we've made it to the finish line.
Knowing the end of our story gives me freedom.
It feels like I've been given an incredible gift. Knowing that our ancestral journey 'could' soon be coming to an end, Mamaylia and I can just enjoy our time on this earth. The need to create a long lasting legacy isn't necessary. We just get to be, no pressure regarding future generations. Life is going to send us our ups and downs. I can feel in my bones that ours was not an easy road to get where we are today, in fact, I can sense from the chaos in my head at times, that ours has been a road filled with trauma. And yet, here we are now, equipped with the knowledge of our past floating through our DNA, guiding us to an a remarkable today, and an easier tomorrow.
How truly excited and blessed I am to be able to share this final stretch as it were, with my little buddy. Should there be fork in the road, and the miniStarlite have a little starBurst of her own, biologically or otherwise, that little light will be loved by an incredible and active line of ancestral Mothers.
"And yet, here we are now, equipped with the knowledge of our past floating through our DNA, guiding us to an easier tomorrow."
During this whole process of consideration, I thought it would be important to connect with my maternal ancestors. I've put together this Tarot spread, and have aptly named it 'A Conversation With Your Maternal Ancestors' Tarot spread, giving you the guidance needed to connect with your ancestors.
A Conversation With Your Maternal Ancestors
1. Our Journey - An overview of theme of our story
2. Who we - A look at our collective energy
3. How we show up - How you'll recognize our energy in the physical world
4. The Lessons - Emotions, memories and energy that you carry because of our experiences
5. Strength - Strengths that you've inherited because of our experiences
6. Weaknesses - Challenges that you carry as inherited by our experiences
7. Our hope for you
8. Our message - how we are helping you behind the scenes
Did you take a moment to connect? Please share in the comment section, as I'd love to hear how it went!!! Don't forget to give credit if you're sharing 🔮
Interested in having your Maternal Ancestry read for you? Let's connect for a reading! Just let me know you'd like the 'Conversation With Your Maternal Ancestors' in the message box.
Finding Duende,
Amanda
Curious about your own Haplo Group? Here's how I got my info!!