As a working mom, work life balance must be your priority.
#inspiredbytarot ~ The Sun | Temperance
By the time I get home work, I don't want to be needed for anything. I don't want to give my opinion, I don't want to be asked questions, I don't want to make decisions.
I love my job. I love my family.
I just don't want to be needed all the time.
I get paid to be needed at work.
"My anxiety has led me to believe that being needed at home
gets me a kick in the ass
and a to-do list
the size of a football field."
For me, my anxiety kicks in the minute I get into the car to go home.
My biggest challenge is the little things that I let get out of control because the exhaustion of my 9 to 5 made me indecisive. In recent months, I've been so mentally shut out, I've been allowing myself 'one decision' a day.
Now that I'm feeling better, more awake, I'm seeing my mess. I'm working through it, piece by piece. Paperwork and after 4p appointments is my current 'GYST' mission. Here are a few things I've been working on as I conquer my at-home-anxiety:
1. Broken car heater: Make appointment, drop off car, wait to get a ride to work or take transit, wait for quote, leave work early, pick up car, pay, go home. I'D RATHER HAVE A BROKEN CAR. I'm in the red.
RECENT WIN: The brakes are finally fixed. The hole in my tire? A screw. Fixed. The passenger side heater that we finally fixed two weeks ago after a year of not dealing with it? Not the $400 thermostat we just paid for, technical thing I guess, has to go to the dealership. Back to square one. Slight bump in anxiety.
2. Interior Design Appointments: manStar "Go ahead and book the appointments, I'm fine anytime." I should know better, because nothing is "just go ahead" with my husband. EVERYTHING is a little delayed with him and takes thorough due process before a decision can be made. I postpone making any appointments; I know it's going to end up with us fighting because nothing will work for him. Case and point, I finally make the calls, I have Lori on the phone...
"manStar, does this work for you?"
"Okay, well how about this and this?" Long pause no answer.
Long story short, I apologize to Lori and get off the phone and find out only one day works, in the afternoon, but before 3p. I'm in the red.